I Miss You: Should You Orphan Your Character?

First of all, I freely admit that what I say isn't gospel. I am a total amateur at art and writing. I've learned everything that I know via the internet and a few drawing books. It's just that I appreciate all of the tutorials here on dA that have helped me out, and I want to put a little bit of my own methods back in.

Be warned: this is a really sensitive issue. I really hope that this isn't something that is just taken lightly by an author.  This discussion may also be a bit too gruesome for some, so viewer discretion is advised.

Some of the best and worst characters ever put to paper have been orphans.  But are you writing Batman or just another Mary Sue?

Parents are key figures in shaping who we are, so you should have a very good reason to off characters with such impact.  They can be well-thought out and if done right can provide a compelling insight into the psyche of their child.  Maybe a neat-freak had parents who were absolute slobs.  Or maybe they're a neat-freak, just like mom and dad.  Think hard before giving up the parents, is all I'm saying.


Things to Ask

Are you killing off one or both?  In my opinion, only killing off one is more acceptable than both, since you can still get that connection in with the remaining parent.  But be warned: having one surviving parent doesn't let you off the hook for the rest of this guide.  Remember the Disney movies that you may/may not have watched as a kid and how every kid had either one or no parents?  That became a trope for a reason.

Why are you killing the parents off?  Read this (poorly-written) passage below:


Sally sulked in the corner of the musty bedroom.  Annie walked over to her.  

"Why have you been such a b!tch lately?  You've been treating me like crap and you punched Billy in the face for asking if you wanted a slice of pie."

"BECAUSE MY PARENTS/MOM/DAD ARE DEAD!"

Annie stared in shock.  Then, she walked over to Sally to give her a big hug and begged her for forgiveness.


No.  Just because a character has a deceased parent/s doesn't mean that they can act like this and it's all ok because their mom died.  Just no.  The ONLY way that this might work is if your character is very young, since children tend to lash out like this because they don't know how to deal with a complex emotion like grief.  It happens.  But giving a character dead parents will not bring a lazy kind of writer an automatically developed character.  It gives them an easy pain to exploit without having to think of deeper characterization than "I'm upset and angry because something awful happened."  Really take this into consideration.

Only write a story with a deceased parent if you actually have something original or noteworthy to say about.  Otherwise, you may want to consider another option


How Will it Be Done

Consider the prevalence of this kind of situation and the way that you are going about it.  Dead parents aren't too common here in the real world, so it doesn't make sense if all of your characters have them.  I only mention this because some children's/teen shows do this as a means to give their characters total independence.  Two people in a random group having a deceased parent is a bit implausible, but it doesn't stretch disbelief too much.  If multiple people are going to go through this, you may want to set it up so that it seems natural.  Maybe they all worked for the same company that had a gas leak?  Were they zookeepers who trained gorillas who one day escaped and killed all of the trainers?  Make this connection earlier so that the outcome, while very sad, will not seem like it was just thrown in cheaply.

What will directly kill the parents?  Flat-out murder is both really uncommon and really cliché.  Car accidents and cancer are more common, but have still managed become cliché (thanks to Lifetime TV).  Try something more original: complications from diabetes, fell down stairs and broke their neck, an STD.  It's much less cliché and forced when you try something like this.  Of course, you can still use murder or a car crash and such.  But it must make sense within the story and the character of the parent.


The Impact on the Child

How does the child react and how does it affect him?  Just being really sad or angry or vengeful won't cut it.  Will the lack of a loving mother's influence leave her little girl cold, just like her father?  Will a boy be terrified of sex if his father died of an STD?  Death has an enormous impact on a person.  Don't use it cheaply.


Other Things

Don't let the dead parent/parents become martyrs.  Nobody's perfect, and death shouldn't wash away the things they did that range from wonderful to awful to irritating.  By making them a martyr, you end up stripping away the parent's previous character.

Nowadays, dead parents are a cliché motivation for the main character to have a story.  Hunt down and kill the bad guy.  That's not very interesting.  We have a million of those stories.  Try to make it a bit more original.


Closing Thoughts

I wrote this because I was sick of seeing dead parents used in the way that many authors try to use them.  I know a family in this awful situation.  I've seen how it's affected them and it's much, much more than simple sadness.  I've learned that parental death is a very complex issue.  If you don't know what you're doing, don't write them.  It's awfully insulting to people who have experienced that.


In Summation:
- parents are really useful characters to have around.  Don't kill them just for the sake of it
- keep it plausible and try to stay away from clichés
- a dead parent is almost never an excuse for a character to act like a twit
- say something original
- parental death deeply alters a character beyond sad or mad. Show it.
- if you don't know what you're doing, DON'T DO IT


And never, ever forget: I might be wrong. I try not to be, but nobody's perfect. Art is one giant matter of opinion. Feel totally free to disagree or to only utilize the bits that you agree with. If you found this helpful, disagree with me, or just prefer another method to my own, feel free to tell me about it in the comments. After all, I'm here to learn too.